I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
