So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
