This is not my ceiling
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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