The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize