My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
