those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
