mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
