Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
