real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
