he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
