that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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