There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
