never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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