last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
