bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
