return my video game
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
