Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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