I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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