i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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