some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
