Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
