I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
