I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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