Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have feelings that need drinking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
