hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
