Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
