There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
