it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
