there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
