i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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