gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize