OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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