They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
