I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
