Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
