Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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