whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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