i think my tv is drunk
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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