i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
