i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
