Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
