You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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