i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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