yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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