think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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