1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
