As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
