You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
