If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize