He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
