that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
