so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
