love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
