That's intense
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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