So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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