names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
