he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
