how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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