Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
