and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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