Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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