I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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