Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
