she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
