Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
two words: eviction party
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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