Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
